A still from one of my all-time favorite shows: Bewitched. Image via.
Today's post started as a quick little blurb on a weekly 'Lately' post, but then as I was writing, I couldn't stop and decided I needed to make this into a full post. But first, you're going to need to read this article from Bazaar before you go any further or else none of this is going to make any sense.Let me set the scene for you: Callie (my younger sister, for those of you that are new here) and I were about middle school/high school age and my parents would entertain a lot. My mom has this phrase 'company clean' that she uses when she would instruct us that we needed to clean our bathroom and make it 'company clean'.
Callie and I would band together and get so annoyed with Mom because she would nag us incessantly... or so we thought. My sister and I always laugh hysterically at this YouTube parody... because when Mom wants something company clean, we better listen. But now, looking back at it, I totally get where she was coming from.... sorry, Mom. She wasn't nagging, but she was right. Things needed to be clean and put together before the company came over. Why should we have had to been nagged?!
I've honestly never thought about this in depth too much until now, but I definitely think it becomes more prevalent when you either a) have a roommate/live with your boyfriend/husband/etc. or if you are dating someone for a while and spend a lot of time with them. My friends and I are always jokingly saying 'I don't know how ___ would function without me.' And while in part, it's a joke, I think the Bazaar article talks a lot about those 'jokes' that women sometimes make. Which is something I never really could define or put my finger on until I read this article.
The article mainly focuses on a husband/wife relationships, but I think it can apply to a plethora of other relationships as well, which is why I wanted to illustrate the story between my mom/me/Callie.
I'd love for your guys to read it and share your thoughts with me in the comments. I'm sharing my thoughts and opinions and that doesn't mean they are right or wrong... so please don't eat me alive in the comments! This is meant to be more of a discussion post where we all share our opinions in a nice and polite way and learn from what others think. I really love when I get comments from you guys and things become more conversational between you and I but also you and other commenters, too!
It's increasingly hard to have a conversation on blog posts, I know. It's so much easier on social media such as Instagram, etc. but I consider my blog my #1 platform of choice and I'd love to start getting to 'chat' with you guys more and more with posts. Like when you all shared your Paris handbag tips- I LOVED that. All of your opinions and suggestions were beyond helpful and also, I think it's a great resource for others who might need similar advice.
Just in case you didn't know, you don't need an account or to sign up or anything to comment, I have it set up so you can use your name, use your account or be completely anonymous. So, this is me inviting you to leave a comment. I feel like that is kind of old school to ask, but I loved back in the day around 2009/2010 where comments happened often and I was better able to get to know my readers and have more of a conversation with them. I love knowing whether you guys like the post or if you would like to see a certain topic discussed, or if you have any tips to share, etc.
Now back to the article after my super long tangent... Personally, I think I'm progressive in a lot of ways, but I'm also a bit traditional when it comes to relationships. I actually enjoy some of the traditional gender roles like keeping a calendar, scheduling events, researching services/products/ finding the best price, making reservations, grocery shopping, etc. I truly look forward to and enjoy cleaning. I think part of it is that I'm so organized and clean that I'm always cleaning, always making sure everything is well-stocked, and my calendar is always perfectly on schedule/updated.
I'm very type A so I think I tend to place importance on cleanliness and order more so than someone who isn't... so I also think that while it could be a gender thing, I also think it's a personality thing, too. I think those situations talked about in the article could have also easily been similar to two roommates living together. If their personalities are just different, like if one is just more relaxed/chill than the other, I think the emotional labor would fall on the more Type A person...so what I'm saying is that I can see how gender roes play a part, for sure, but I also think personality plays a part, too.
Another thing I think plays a major part? Children. I don't have much input to say about that as I have zero experience in that department, but it was interesting in the article that she pointed out that her children are watching the emotional labor happening and learning from it.
Such a good article, though, and really good food for thought. As soon as I read it I sent it to a bunch of my girlfriends and so many responded that they were going to send it to their significant others!
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