An open letter to social conservatives

Dear Motherfuckers,

You have exactly one person to worry about: yourself.

You don't want to have an abortion? Don't have an abortion. You don't want to use any sort of birth control? Don't use any birth control. You don't want to play around with any kink? Don't play around with any kink.

Now take a look around yourself. The area immediately surrounding you is your area. Stay in your area. Don't come over to my area. I don't want you in my area. I do what I want over here and you do what you want over there.

But you mothers are sure as hell worried about what goes on in my area. Drives you about crazy, doesn't it? You want total control of my area. Maybe you think that God's up there watching you, waiting to see if you can change things in my area and if you do, he goes ahead and puts another point under your name or something. Well guess what? I don't appreciate you trying to get God points over here in my area.

Now this next part is really going to torque you.

I am exactly what you guys love. Been married once, am still married to the same guy, been married 16 years. Have one kid. Live in a house here in the middle of America, keep up with bills and mortgage, do the laundry, meatloaf on Tuesday nights: the whole bit. I'm your Right As Rain sort of broad. But guess what? If every gay man and every gay woman married whomever they choose, it would have no effect on me, my marriage, my kid, or my Crayola green lawn. I know that. What are you people afraid of? Does every gay marriage lose you some God points?

And if one of you starts going on about how allowing gay marriage leads to people marrying their goats or some crap, I think I'll scream. Marriage is a legal union. To dissolve a marriage is a difficult legal matter called divorce. The entire concept of marriage is a complex human endeavor. Why should only people who look like you be entitled to it?

And before I close, do not say "America is a center-right country" one more time. With every passing second, the United States becomes more diverse, more global, more urban and less like the dying lily-white Normal Rockwell dream that you've painted in your closed mind.

Now go back to your area and stay there.

Love,

Erin